It takes to be something to leave a mark on some one. May it be ur faculty, ur friend, an ordinary unknown person or may be a corporate representative,,, or any one. Today I felt that I don’t have that some thing in me and that’s being very blunt to my self coz, truth is truth. It is not just today, but it’s been quite some time now, so I can not actually point out any particular incidence here. It is just my inner most intuition or something. There are people who are good at some thing or the other but when I closely consider myself then frankly speaking I was not able to find any thing worth mentioning. Some may say that I am wrong but then I need to convince myself first. One thing needs to be considered here is that I am an ESFP which in crude terms means, my locus of control is external and that I need the external party to my social being to support me and tell me that I am good at X or Y or may be Z. It is difficult for me to be self satisfied and myself make a judgement that I am good at any of the x, y or z things. But again that does not stand as an answer or a solution to what I am thinking.
Other things that I am struggling to find answer is my ‘identity’ in the crowd. It’s something vague and philosophical too but it’s true. I found that I don’t have a clear aim. I know I am going to be an HR manager in few years time, but what next. The ambiguity that lies with in me sometimes makes me restless. So what am I supposed to do is not specific which is leading me to waste a lot of energy (since I am not clear of my aim therefore I am not able to focus my energy). Many of my friends in my batch are clear as to what they are supposed to do and where they are to go and how they will be reaching there etc etc.
Now the thing is that what shall I be doing,,,, formulating a clear picture in my mind about my future…but is it that easy to do… the answer is a big NO. When will I establish myself as a separate entity is still unknown. These things are in my mind. One thing I want to confess is that I am also not taking strong steps to overcome such a situation. And that is not at all acceptable. Why is this happening to me? No answer from my side. But the obvious answer seems is that I am not taking initiative to keep a control of the situation. Do I need some horlics or power capsule for that…:O
Well before I end i would like to write a few lines about the song that ive posted,,, this one is by Lucky Ali,,, i dont know how much it is relevant to the post here but just because it gives me inspiration ,, and it also states "Anjani rahon me tu kya dhoondta phire,,, door jisko samjha vo to paas hai tere"...Its in me to find out my inner strengths and i need not look to the outside world to know what i actually possess but i am not aware of...
click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pze5_nkWQ4
2 comments:
Hey Sumeet!
Great new look on the blog.. thanks for being my inspiration .. this drove me to polish my own blog for good :D :D
Although, the title pic is good .. but change the text font color - maybe to black, coz it's not readable! .. ur blog looks real hi-tech right now :D .. good going..
About ur post now ... this is the first post by you which did not have optimism or positive vibes oozing out of it .. and it did take me by surprise! .. but I think saying anything about ur thought process would be pointless since you yourself are very well aware of what your strengths are, and seem to have a good sense of purpose, in creating new areas of strength for urself ...and one good thing about you of course,is your unaggressive tenacity of purpose, u seem to identify what u wish to add in ur portfolio of strengths, set your heart and mind to it, and then do it! ...
The way your have grown into a proficient blogger in such a short span of time, when u probably started as a novice in writing just a few months ago, speaks volumes about this quality!
And your indomitable spirit, the optimistic take on life comes back rather proudly in the post above this- where u seem so sure about creating an impact on this world- you and your friends :)
It's natural to have these moments of introspection .. esp: a few days before your birthday i guess, when u're taking stock of what you have done in the past one year of your life :) !
happy birthday in advance! Cheers!!
Hey,, i m writing late to ur reply,, coz i was not geting enough QUALITY time out,, so here i am,,
First of all welcome back to coleg,after a long long time,,, though as usual u got back to work as soon as u came here,, all busy,,han,:),
Thank you soo much for those inspirational words,,,i think i m having,,at times what u call emotional out burst,, when things seems to go out of order or ,,may b th external factors are nt supportive enough,,,
I know what i need,, exactly,, but dont know some hw i m missing it why? its vitamin C (confidence),,,in the later post i did had a positive approach,, and i wish to continue that only,,, once again thanks for motivating me...:)
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